Grief is not an emotion I really like to dwell in for a long period of time. It has been one I have spent a fair amount of time in though. For myself it is a place which brings a lot of reflection of past, present and future. I feel the blue print of big changes unfolding before me these days. The catalyst of change had already begun with the passing of family members within these past several months. Also, my 30th high school reunion is upon me and my 48th birthday is just around the corner. I feel as if there are things about myself I am just discovering and things about myself I'm coming face-to-face with realizing that I don't like so much. It is a time to decide what surroundings, memories, and habits to hold onto and cherish and what ones are no longer serving the best interest of myself and the others around me.
One tool I've used over the years to work through rough patches in my life is the writing of poetry. In fact most of the poems I've written have been for this purpose. Below is one such poem I wrote years ago.
The Visitor Called Loneliness
The visitor called loneliness comes standing at my door
Sometimes he barges in and takes over my house filling every nook and cranny with his clutter of emptiness
He stays long after his welcome
Sometimes he comes disguised as someone
We sit and have tea. We chat about trifle matters
At times jabbing words fall from his mouth
I’m caught off guard and think I must have heard him wrong
After all he still has a smile on his face and is poised so handsomely on the edge of the chair
It is only after he leaves that the scent of his cologne seeps up my nose and fills up my lungs
Then I have a sense of something missing
And no matter how hard I try I can’t get rid of the smell, which lingers in the air
Until Next Time. . . .
Kathleen
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